This is indeed a very bold statement. But one that I believe can transform your life & your relationships.⁣
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It is making the choice to pay attention to our hardwired primal responses to threat & danger. Can you try simply to start noticing how your body & mind react in challenging situations? ⁣
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Slow down & just observe.⁣
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We all have primitive brains that, by default, when we don’t feel safe, trigger the famous fight, flight or freeze response.⁣
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So notice. What do you do when you feel challenged or stressed? Do you immediately want to shut down & detach? Do you impulsively grab your phone & start scrolling (guilty 🙋🏻‍♀️). Or lash out at someone (your kids; your ex partner ; yourself?). ⁣
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The most radical act of self care you can take is to build in time to study your way of reacting. To slow yourself down. To ground yourself in the moment. To take some calming breaths. To pause. To say to yourself “I am safe”. ⁣
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If you practice this slowing down, returning to the present, you’ll start to consciously decide what response to make. To remind yourself what truly matters to you. To turn off the alarm system in your brain & actually make choices that line up with what your values are.⁣
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You will not always be able to do this! But reminding yourself to respond & not react every morning is a great first step. ⁣